Wedding

I've been to more weddings this year alone than I had ever been combined throughout my life. Perhaps it's that I am getting older - but surprisingly, the fact that it's taken me 30 years to get to this point is impressive.

June kicked off the first wedding of the season with my boyfriend's friend. It was nearby, in the town where he grew up. It was sweet getting to see a glimpse of his childhood through his interactions with old friends and their parents that had a shared history.

We also went to a wedding that my closest friend from my childhood was married. It was great to see her family and that they welcomed me so much as their own. It was very emotional - one of those moments you've thought about before - and experiencing it felt so heartfelt and profound.

After the end of the summer we started to talk about marriage. We had always been on the same page about wanting to get married and occasionally had proposed anytime we approached a situation that would've made it easier if we were married (shared health benefits, taxes).

He didn't want to have a wedding, but anytime we talked about it there was always someone missing from who we wanted to be there which ended up becoming a much more extended wedding. I enjoy the planning, organizing an event for our families and close friends to have fun. We picked a casual non-traditional setting at a local vineyard that happens to be next to the best pizza and beer in town!

The part I hate and dread is the parts that involve unnecessary attention it brings to us. I realize that it is the whole glory of being a bride but I don't care about being a bride. I want to marry the partner I love and plan our future together. I want to celebrate with our friends and family that we both love throughout our lives and see them interact with each other. Have good food, beer, wine, and enjoy the beautiful area we live in. I feel like each person close to me, I could be spending more time with. This is an opportunity to pull that all together for an amazing unforgettable day.

With that said, I don't give a shit about the following:

• Shoes
• Veil
• Where to hide something blue, gold, new, old or whatever it is
• Picking colors, flowers or decorations
• Money (within reason of spending on one day)

About the dress....I only seem to care so much about the dress because of how much I hate it. I haven't tried on a dress that made me feel comfortable - particularly because it's hard to feel sexy after swimming through a large dress or someone strapping, squeezing, and securing you into it. Being in a wedding dress calls more attention to me than I feel comfortable in. Maybe it's the white. I'd rather wear a nice casual dress that I feel comfortable in with blinking lights so that people know I'm the fucking bride (edit: in case you didn't know, but if you didn't know I was the bride and my partner was the groom - I'd question why you were there...).

What I do care about is:

• Local food, beer and wine
• Dancing and having fun with everyone
• Supporting the local community and sharing our established hometown with everyone
• Making sure everyone has a good time and doesn't have to worry about anything